Band, Leaders, Ministry Leadership, Players, Singers, Vocal Team, Worship Leading
Five Ways to Handle Criticism (Show #28)
#HandleTheCritics (Video Below)
As a worship leader or volunteer, how do you move forward in handling the critics and opinions that come your way? Unfortunately, there is always someone that has something to say about the way you lead or do your job. It’s unavoidable; but you no longer have to avoid it. You can move through it, and here’s how you can. We will look at five ways Jesus dealt with the same issues we still face today, and how we can still overcome them!
1. Be Approachable When you look at the life of Jesus, he never denied anyone. Even when people were in the wrong or wronged Him, he always respected them. Jesus had an inviting spirit, which is why people were so drawn to him. Most importantly, Jesus was visible. He did not hide from people, nor buried his head in the sand. When things got tough, he faced people straight-on. In Matt.20.21, Jesus was challenged by the mother of James and John. Even when Jesus saw her approach him, he did not quiver or withdraw. He was open and asked her to present her request.
2. Let Them Vent, But Don’t Be A Doormat People let it out. They did not hold back to tell Jesus what they really thought. In John 8.4-5, the Scribes and Pharisees really turned the crank on the woman caught in adultery. They stirred up and hurled words about her as if she was the worst person on the planet. Even in that moment, it seemed as if they were directing their anger toward Jesus.
Interestingly, Jesus did not allow their words to tower over him. He let them speak, but He did not let them walk over him. Ninety percent of the time when people come to you with a beef, it has nothing to do with you. There’s something going on in their heart, yet they want to project their emotions or blame on to you. Let this not be. People may want to get things off their chest, but that doesn’t mean you need to own it. Continue to read though John 8.6 and check out how Jesus responded to their complaining.
3. Learn to Listen Listening is the number one deterrent to anger. When you allow the walls to come down and open up to who’s speaking to you the opposite happens. When you give your ear, it gives people what they need, but not what they expect. In other words, when complainers and nay-sayers vent or scoff, they are really looking to pick a fight. When you do the opposite, such as listening, they are shocked at your response and shocked because you’re not fighting back. In Matthew 22.16, Jesus listened to Pharisees complain and challenged him about paying taxes. He let them ramble on, even at the point where they were finding themselves in error.
The beautiful way of Jesus response was two fold: he remained quiet and to let them hear themselves speak, and answered their angry demands with a question. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15.1
4. Speak the Truth In Love Even in the moment of fear, Jesus comforts his disciples with love by saying: “Do not fear, it is I” Matt 14.27. He did not respond in frustration to His disciples, he spoke the truth in love. When he rebuked them, He used it as a teaching moment, not as a I-told-you-so scolding. Look at John 21.10-19. Knowing that Peter previously denied him, Jesus still invited him to breakfast. There were no conditions or strings; like He did before, Jesus took Peter just as he was.
He spoke to Peter in love, not in lecture. Peter was already aware of the damaged he caused, in which Jesus had no need to remind him – it was enough. Graciously, he asked Peter three times if he loved Him. The lessons became clear to Peter; he realized the words and ways that Jesus did not choose to respond. He spoke what was right and at the right time. “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” – Col. 4.6
5. Agree to Love and Move Forward It’s not about the other person being justified, it’s more about reconciling the differences or trouble. In the heat of the issue, right and wrong doesn’t matter as much as the resolve. Have a loving heart and a gracious attitude. It’s better to look at the outcome and the long-term effect on the relationship. Agree with them and move on.
Even if you think their minds are off-their-rocker, just agree to disagree in love. In the end, the differences really don’t matter. One more example is found in John 21:21-22, Peter wanted justice over the betrayer. Peter felt that he was right in his cause, but unknowingly, he was making it about himself. “What about him?”
Again, Jesus lovingly guides Peter to the reality of what truly is important – following Him. “Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain until I return, what is that to you? You follow Me!” – John 21.22 Once we get passed ourselves, we become meek and wise. It takes the loving words of our Savior and reminders of the Scripture to help us remember our place. Our identity is Christ; our character and actions are to resemble His image. Ministry is tough and people in the world are tougher, but we are owned by Jesus.
Our love for one another is to outweigh the circumstance. We may feel it in the moment, but it’s only for the moment. Take time to pray, be quiet, listen and love. When you allow God to have it, even when you are in the pit, He comes along and gently lifts you up.
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